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Bill Gates had also taken an interest in tobacco, and, according to Yip, Peng had arranged for the two to meet in Beijing in May 2012 when Xi was still vice president

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Thus, stairs becomes apples and pears, and then, because logic and clarity are for the weak, it is shortened to simply apples. This means that a sentence like, Im just going up the stairs, is transformed into, Im just going up the apples a phrase that would sound like the ravings of a lunatic were it not delivered with the smug confidence of a man who remembers when crisps came in just two flavours